Wednesday, August 22, 2007


Chapter One


The soft rustling of palm fronds in the sea breeze. My first memory of the planet Earth.

What my mother remembers best is the milkman whistling Christmas carols beneath her second story hospital window as his bottles rattled in their metal baskets early in the morning. "Hark, the herald angels sing..."

For I had been ejected into independent existence during a happy season -- on December 19, 1933, at about 5:20 in the afternoon, in Flagler Hospital, in St. Augustine, Florida, with the sun in Sagittarius and Gemini ascending. As the first child of Jean Fleming Blitch and Loonis Blitch, I was the cause for special celebration during the Christmas and New Year festivities.

Later I would know that I had been presented to an old Florida family -- on my father's side, at least -- in the oldest city in the United States, on the eastern edge of a subtropical peninsula pointing down into the Caribbean Sea. Later I would learn that I was born in the midst of a depression, when my father put cardboard inside his shoes to cover the holes in the soles, and that Adolf Hitler and Franklin Roosevelt had been elected to office during the year of my birth, both pledged to cure their countries of economic paralysis.

Just before Christmas, 1933, however, within the stucco walls of Flagler Hospital beside the bay, I simply wondered at the rustling sounds of the tops of palm trees just outside my mother's windows, while I lay snuggled against her in her bed.

For the first six years of my life we lived in St. Augustine, and those years, of which I have more vivid memories than of many later years, have always had a paradisiacal quality in my life's mythology. I had no responsibilities. My wants were satisfied without charge or obligation. I did not yet grapple with the desires and anxieties of puberty. There was not even a sibling to contend with for the first three years. Best of all, there was no puzzling over why I was here and what it was all about, and no fear of its ending. Also, my parents were very glad to have me, and in spite of the Great Depression (of which I was unaware), we lived well, though simply.

Before I go any farther into the pleasant aspects of our circumstances, I need to squelch any suspicion that my father was one of those fortunate few who during the Depression had wealth or a high income position. As a matter of fact, he always talked of that period as one of anxiety, when there was real shortage and struggle and debt. Indeed, the Depression was the reason I was born in St. Augustine instead of Ocala, almost a hundred miles to the southwest, where my parents had met and had been married in 1927. My father had given up his job as history teacher and coach at Ocala High School and in 1928 had taken his very young bride to Blitchton, a little rural community a dozen miles north, where his family’s big, thriving, farm and ranch, with its new sawmill, would provide a bountiful living.

Then the Great Depression came – the Depression whose early shadows had moved my mother’s father to bring his wife and four daughters from Tennessee to Ocala just a couple of years before my parents married. As prices of livestock and crops went over the waterfall of deflation, the expectation that Blitchton would continue to provide a good income shriveled like fruit on a dead vine. Wholesalers either did not buy at all, or offered prices so low that a sale would have been pointless. There was food, but there was no money, or very little of it, and when a friend with the right connections told my father about a job opening for County Agricultural Agent in St. Johns County, my father instantly said,
“I’ll take it.”

“But I haven’t even told you what the salary is.”

“I don’t care what it pays. I’ll take it.”

And so my parents moved to St. Augustine in 1931 and gained an income, and in 1933 a baby.

At the time I was born they lived in the lower floor of a two story house, 164 Marine Street, just across a beautiful park from Flagler Hospital, on the edge of Matanzas Bay. Soon after I came along they rented a full sized house and hired a full time maid who became as important to me as my parents. In fact, of those first six years of my life, I recall at least as much about Irene as I do about my mother or father.

So it is that after the whispering of palm trees, I remember Irene, the old fort, the little railroad station at the end of our street, the shrimp boats in Matanzas Bay, the Bridge of Lions, the Plaza de San Marcos, the Ponce de Leon Hotel.


Irene was the person who generally took me to enjoy all those other things when I was a small child. She was a colored woman (as black people wanted to be called in those days) who was at our house from before breakfast until after dinner at night. She lived with her aged mother in a two story wooden house with an open porches on the ground floor and a large balconies extending across the second floors, supplied of course with rocking chairs and hanging plants. St. Augustine was so small that I could walk with Irene from my house to her house, and there I remember two things: smoky smells, and above all the upright piano, where I first brought forth sounds from a keyboard.

In my memory it seems as if most people had maids, and that they were at least as involved with taking care of children as with domestic chores. The maid in Donny Maitine’s household across the street from us probably went farther than any other in child caring. Donny was very skinny. They said that meat made him nauseated. So, to keep him from wasting away, the Maitine's maid was assigned to sit outside near wherever Donny was playing with his five-year-old friends and call him over from time to time and feed him spoonfuls of Ovaltine.

Each day maids like Irene would converge on the Plaza de San Marcos pushing baby carriages and baby strollers, or leading toddlers by the hand, and trying to hold children of four and five in check with entreaties, threats, promises and an occasional open-handed whack on the seat of the pants or skirt. Maids wore uniforms then. Today it would be rare to see a maid in a middle class neighborhood, and the cleaning women who might be spotted would be wearing blue jeans or shorts. But in the 1930's, in the midst of the Great Depression, the maids of the small town middle class wore uniforms.

Although Fort Marion was the center of everything for me, the Plaza was the real center of the town. To the east was Matanzas Bay, separated from the ocean by a string of islands linked to the town by the Bridge of Lions. The bridge was named for the two huge white marble lions which faced the town where the bridge met the mainland. I always insisted on being helped up to touch their big paws and the round stone ball on which a front paw rested.

The lions looked down the Plaza, a long, rectangular, shady park with the Slave Market at the east end and the ornate Ponce de Leon hotel across the street at the west end. There many benches where the maids could sit among ancient cannons and pyramids of ancient cannon balls, gossip, and perhaps occasionally contemplate the fact that their ancestors might have involuntarily begun occupations in the New World on the very spot called the Slave Market, where old men, black and white, now played checkers in a spacious tile-roofed pavilion.


Later I wondered whether the maids, if they had the inclination to think about their forebears, were pleased they had ended up where they were, or if they would rather have been living in some African village. But at the time Irene began taking me to the Plaza I was too infantile to wonder much of anything other than where my rattle had disappeared within my wicker baby carriage, and whether I would soon get some more of that delicious sweet frozen milky stuff that Irene let me lick from a wooden stick in her dark hand.

One feature of the Plaza area that I never wanted to miss was the display window of The Neptune Grill, which in my memory was St. Augustine’s only restaurant. From the sidewalk one could look through the sweating plate glass at an expanse of crushed ice on which was arranged a beautiful display of fish just as they had come from the water that morning – a kind of seafood bouquet whose centerpiece might be a big grouper surrounded by red snappers, the design completed by sea bass, pompano, crabs, and giant shrimp.

By the time we left St. Augustine when I was seven years old I had never been into a restaurant except Morrison’s Cafeteria in Jacksonville, and so the glimpses I could get into the dim interior of The Neptune Grill when the door opened and closed were like glimpses into some mysterious, luxurious, storybook grotto.

Even when I was an adult I amused people with my stubborn recollection that The Neptune Grill was, if not St. Augustine’s only restaurant, certainly its major one, when in fact the tourist-trampled town had in subsequent years sprouted more restaurants than there had been fish and shrimp on ice at The Neptune Grill . . . which became extinct at some point without my even knowing it.

Speaking of shrimp, Mother recalls that she and my father used to go down to the docks and buy shrimp off the net-festooned boats for a nickel a pound.


One of the major economic changes during my lifetime, much greater than the general tides of inflation, has been the rising price of seafood, which, even starting the sample long after those Depression lows, has gone from being far cheaper than red meat to being more expensive. In the present day, ocean fish which were considered inedible, or at least too unattractive or poor in flavor to sell, are given fancy new names and hawked as the latest delicacy. But soon even those nouveau fish become so popular because of their price that their cost goes up and they join the piscatorial elite.

Being the first born, I got disproportionate coverage in my baby book compared to my later-arriving brothers, and those cards and letters and photographs and newspaper clippings record many more things than I can remember: In one picture I stand by a little mahogany table by a birthday cake with one candle on it -- outdoors because my parents' bellows-folding Kodak camera couldn’t deal with indoor lighting. Those were the days in which the amateur photographer took a roll of black and white Kodak pictures in bright sunlight and hoped that most of them would "come out".

My baby book, with its padded satin cover on which an angelic infant reclines, also shows me dressed up for Easter, holding my stuffed Easter bunny, and at Christmas I am seen seated on the front sidewalk with my new beach ball, teddy bear, and drum major's hat.

I also ride a rocking horse which is not a horse but a round-eared Mickey Mouse.

I pedal a sporty metal roadster (our world knew nothing of plastic, though little figures were made of celluloid), stand beside it in a snowsuit of questionable utility, and in short pants strut with my plumed cardboard drum major's hat on, pretending to pound away at the toy bass drum suspended by a braided cord around my neck. Pretending because the folding Kodak had a shutter speed that would cause a rambling snail to blur, and all photographs had to be taken with the subjects rigid.

A look at my baby book – which covered a few years past my actual babyhood – reveals that children’s birthday parties were big news in tiny St. Augustine. The newspaper articles which Mother cut out and pasted indicate that respectable parents would as soon have let their pre-school offspring go to kindergarten without shoes as let a birthday pass without a party involving at least a fifteen guests, and often more.

The local newspaper dutifully printed all the details of each party beneath a front-lawn group photograph of the partygoers in fancy, festooned hats. Ice cream and cake were of course essential, along with hats and party favors. The favor I liked best produced a loud bang and the smell of gunpowder when a ribbon at each end was pulled. Second to that I liked the one that unrolled and whistled when I blew into the mouthpiece. Pin the tail on the donkey was the most popular game, followed by Blind Man’s Bluff and Hide and Seek. One little boy who lived a few houses down from us took advantage of Hide and Seek to disappear from his own birthday party. He was found alone in our back yard, pensively swinging on our swing.

The scrapbooks which I myself created, apparently with great zeal, were obviously an early way of keeping me occupied: The first one is filled largely with pieces of magazine pictures cut in all kinds of outlandish shapes, pasted down without regard to whether the page had a top or a bottom. Those pictures give the impression that Shirley Temple and Walt Disney's three little pigs and big bad wolf were by far the most important things on Earth, but I was also attracted to lavish desserts with cherries on top, to beautiful women in lovely surroundings, and to long, luxurious Packard cars,-- interests (except for the cars), which would not abandon me as life proceeded.

The second scrapbook which I created in my infancy was much better laid out and more varied -- children flying kites in the March wind, whimsical tramps roasting wieners on sticks at an open fire, a poor child being forced to eat spinach before he could have his ice cream, robins and dogs and cute little kittens dressed in human clothes doing human things -- but my memories of those years in St. Augustine take the form not of the second scrapbook but of the first -- fragmentary, disordered, full of bright colors:

Sitting on the massive, low swung chains that marked the boundary of the Ponce de Leon hotel. Watching stone frogs spew water from their mouths into the hotel's Spanish-tiled courtyard fountain.


The municipal Easter egg hunt on the fort green -- with a wave of children charging up the hill like invading Vikings. Most of the participants were older than me, and I was lucky to find one egg, hidden by the grass in a small hole.


Slouching by the window during a downpour, watching raindrops chase one another down the glass. I loved rain, and if there was lightning and house-rattling thunder, all the better. Some drops of water would hesitate and hang on the glass, while others would slide quickly; one might run down into a hesitant one and merge into it, start it rolling, and that enlarged drop would join with others, and help form a wriggling stream among other streams running down to the bottom of the pane. And then, as the rain ended, running out to the street to send paper boats, or just a big leaf, down the rapids in the gutter beside the sidewalk.

Cleaning my teddy bear with corn meal. One of my early Christmas presents was a blond teddy bear. When he had been held and pulled around the house long enough to get grimy, Mother would say it was time to give him a bath. She would spread newspapers on the floor, and we would put my teddy bear on his back and massage him with corn meal from a bag in the kitchen. Then he’d lie on his stomach and we’d rub corn meal into the rest of his fur. When the meal was brushed out he would look considerably brighter. I wanted to know why Mother couldn't wash my hair with corn meal instead of the much-dreaded shampoo which stung my eyes, and I never got a satisfactory answer.

Going to Mr. Caruso's barber shop on for haircuts. I know from photographs that for the first few years of my life I had long blond hair, large curls down to my shoulders. Mr. Caruso eventually ended that. I sat on a smoothly worn wooden board across the arms of the barber's chair, a little tense at being elevated into the stratosphere by Mr. Caruso's lever, but soon totally absorbed in the endless corridor of receding reflections created by the mirrored walls in front of and behind me. Peering into the mirror I was drawn away from Mr. Caruso's barber shop, from my father standing nearby, and from St. Augustine, by the infinite procession of ever shrinking images of myself in the throne-like chair, until finally I was in a world too far away to be seen, and yet where the images must go on and on and on.

Going to Mr. Wolfe's photography studio to have my picture taken. Mr. Wolfe was on the same street as the barber shop -- a street now “restored” and closed to vehicles in order to attract tourists to restaurants, bakeries, and all the kinds of shops that are found in such places from Savannah to Charleston to California.

Like a sorcerer's den, Mr. Wolfe’s inner sanctum was dim, strange smelling, draped with dark fabrics and filled with strange apparatus. Mr. Wolfe, however, was jolly, though as thin as a walking stick. He let me stand on a stool so I could look at the big ground glass plate at the rear of his giant bellows camera; magically, I could see the world going in and out of focus ... upside down . . . rivaling even Mr. Caruso's infinite mirror images. Then Mr. Wolfe would arrange me in some endearing pose in front of the gleaming lens, get on the far side of the massive tripod, slide a black frame into the camera, and draw a great dark cloth over his head and most of the camera. One of his hands held a rubber bulb while the other stuck up from under his tent waving a brightly feathered bird on a stick. Then his fingers would squeeze the bulb and the grotto would fill with blinding light.

(Which reminds me of a similar bird we got at some kind of boardwalk at Jacksonville Beach when we went to visit Mother's aunts. Tied by a length of string to a stick, the bird would chirp and whistle shrilly, and its tail would spin, when I whipped the stick round and round over my head. I remember playing with it all the way home in the back seat of the car. It is an isolated memory, connected with nothing, like a soap bubble against a blue sky, and just as pleasant.)

The best thing of all about Mr. Wolfe was that he gave me a kite for being such a good boy. Like the chirping bird from the beach, the kite was probably made in Japan in those days when Japan was a quaint and elegant subject for picture books rather than wartime enemy. "Children of other lands", such as little Japanese boys in silk kimonos flying exotic kites, Hans in wooden shoes, and Ahmed in Bedouin robes next to his camel, figured prominently in my childhood picture books -- I suspect more so than in the 21st Century, when little Japanese boys wear pants and shirts, Hans wears blue jeans, and Ahmed wears tennis shoes and t-shirts and rides a sports car instead of a camel.

Mr. Wolfe's gift led to my pretty mother and me flying kites on the fort green while Daddy was at work -- one of my most vivid memories.

First, we put the kite together and tore strips off an old white sheet to make the tail. I would hold the roll of string and run, and Mother would hold the diamond-shaped kite, which eventually rose into the sky while the string tugged at my hand like a living creature. Other kites followed the demise of my first on a telephone wire. All tended to end their days (or minutes) in such unspectacular and frustrating ways, hung up in trees or stepped on, but on one occasion the loss of the kite was more satisfying than retrieval. The taut, vibrant string broke and fell gently, lifeless, back toward me, and my dragon-faced kite escaped, quivering in the strong wind, leaping upward, flying higher and higher inland from the fort on Matanzas Bay toward the middle of the town. Mother and I ran after it down the grassy hill until we reached the street and saw that it was above treetop and power line level. Then we moved back up the slope of the green to get a better view, and saw it, like a distant bird, fly southwest toward the far end of the plaza, where -- miraculis mirabuli -- its tail caught on the top of the highest spire of the Catholic cathedral...and there it remained, flapping and bobbing, like the flag of the town.


As I've said, my father was the county agricultural agent, a job he had taken when the Depression ended his and Mother's efforts to make a living on the family farm at Blitchton. I loved to visit Daddy's office, on the second floor of the post office building, near the cathedral. Those were the days when the government built post offices that looked like post offices and not like quick-stop food stores. They were monumental stone edifices with echoing marble floors and sculpture on the facades. Even the little doors of the post office boxes were beautifully sculpted of brass. In the lobby were long, massive tables made of pecky cypress covered with thick glass. My father would lift me up so that I could tirelessly inspect the beautiful pocketed wood.


In Daddy's actual office the main attraction on the second floor was the water cooler with its inverted glass bottle, where you held a little Dixie cup under the spout and pushed the button and lo, if you were lucky, the thing would emit a gigantic belch and a huge bubble or two would rise in the jug. If you were not lucky, and there was neither bubble nor belch, you had -- like a slot machine addict -- to keep drinking water and refilling until the grand eruption occurred.
The office smelled of some fluid used in the mimeograph machine, which was the second greatest attraction, because when you turned a crank freshly printed papers shot out into a wire basket. Apparently I liked the typewriters too, even during the earliest visits, because there is a picture of me, in diapers, sitting on a table while earnestly pecking away at the typewriter's keys. One of Mr. Wolfe’s works, I assume.

I don't remember the people at that office, although I remember my father complaining to my mother that because the secretaries were Catholic (like most people around there, where the country churches were Catholic instead of Baptist because of the long established Minorcan population) they would brag about "doing whatever they wanted every weekend" because all they had to do was go to church and be forgiven. My father was always darkly fascinated by other people's sexual misdeeds (even though neither he nor my mother ever admitted to us children that there was any such thing as sex) and he was still repeating his indictment of Catholic secretaries years later when I was old enough to understand it.

Once each year the circus -- Barnum, Bailey, Ringling Brothers -- arrived in St. Augustine in its own train and publicized the great event with a parade through town. We would go down to the tracks to watch the horses and camels and elephants walk down ramps from their railroad cars to the ground, and then we would wait for the parade, which luckily passed directly beneath the balcony of my father's office. We fortunate ones would clutch the wrought iron balustrade and peer down at tumblers, staggering clowns, glittering girls on caparisoned horses, and elephants holding one another's tails. Lions and tigers came by in gilded cages drawn by huge heavy-footed horses, while the sound of the gilded calliope dominated it all.

My mother would take me to watch the Big Top being set up in a huge field, where elephants and horses helped men raise stupendous poles and haul incredible expanses of canvas high into the air, until where there had been nothing in the morning there was now a city of lofty tents, ornate red and gold wagons, and fluttering banners like an picture from a book of fairy tales.

The three ring circus performances themselves, being like circus performances everywhere, have become generalized in my mind except for the clowns and the trapeze artists, and I otherwise I remember mostly the opening procession, especially the bandwagon, and visiting the menagerie -- for which a separate ticket was required -- and seeing the animals close up. Also vivid is the time my little four year old blonde friend, Christine Smith, who was sitting between me and her mother in the bleachers, was suddenly not there anymore. A piece of circus magic? No -- guided by her wails we quickly discovered that she had fallen between seat and footrest onto the sawdust five feet below.

I remember, too, that the boulevard from the ticket wagon to the big top was flanked by the sideshows, with their big, garishly illustrated canvas signs. Of course I always wanted to see those shows, especially the freaks, but Mother said there were strange, ugly things in those tents that we wouldn't enjoy seeing. That may really have meant that we couldn't afford the extra expense, but most likely it was an expression of my mother's discomfort with anything that was not guaranteed to be cheerful and uplifting -- for my mother's major characteristic, passed down by her mother -- is to avoid noticing or even recognizing the existence of anything ugly or depressing, and to speak only of what is bright and beautiful. "Sufficient to the day is the evil thereof," she would say, or "Whatsoever things be beautiful, think on those things." This attitude has its obvious pitfalls, but Mother has been lucky in leading a life that never managed to shatter her philosophy, and it makes her such a pleasure to be around that even in her old age she is extremely popular with her contemporaries and much younger people. Even of the Depression she says, “We didn’t realize we were so bad off because everybody else was in the same boat.”

Another good use of my father's office balcony came at annual Fiesta time, when for several days the town celebrated Ponce de Leon's first landing, which was reenacted by local politicians and members of the Chamber of Commerce dressed as conquistadors who ceremoniously disembarked from a long open boat near the Bridge of Lions. We could stand on my father's balcony and look down along the plaza, where churches, clubs, and civic organizations had set up booths. There was all kinds of food for sale, and throngs of people, many in costume, jostled one another while guitars and trumpets played Spanish music and the cathedral bells tolled.

Once off the balcony and in the narrow streets during the Fiesta, all I could see were legs. Much of my view of life then was legs, and my main ambition was to be tall enough to see something else. Legs in trousers, legs in overalls, legs in boots, legs in stockings ... except for the omnipresent nuns of this cathedral town, who had no visible legs but nevertheless walked in pairs or larger groups in full length black skirts swinging about the tops of high black shoes. Long strands of ebony beads swung from farther up, and when I was distant enough, the view included the women's fantastic headgear of starched white and draped black. My mother said nuns had queer beliefs and never married, but since I did not know what "married" meant I just thought of nuns as one more phenomena in a world flooding me with new, but somehow not new, things -- intense things, startling things: nuns, dragon flies, locomotives, lizards, lightning, cat eyes, hippos, horses, doodle-bug holes, net-draped shrimp boats, shrieking seagulls swooping for bread by the sea.

On the crowded Fiesta streets, bounced this way and that by conquistadors, I was startled when my eyes started traveling up the trouser legs just in front of me and when they should have reached the belt line kept traveling farther and farther until I gradually realized that I was looking at a giant. Where his head should have been was his waist, and from there he just went on and on. Mother and Daddy -- whose principle function in life, I had come to realize, was answering my questions -- explained that the giant was a regular man standing on stilts hidden underneath his trousers. What are stilts? My father made me a pair, two-by-fours with wedges for footrests, on which I, and later my brothers, would lurch around our yard like ostriches.

The Age of Legs is linked in my mind with being in the post office lobby with my father, grasping the fabric of his trouser leg at the knee to keep from getting separated, and looking up and discovering that I was not holding on to my father, but to some man had never seen before.

Which in turn takes me to the post office lobby when my father introduced me to a real, live G-man, a government secret agent who opened his business suit jacket to show me his hidden pistol in a shiny black holster.

Leaving my personal perspective aside, by far the biggest event in the St. Augustine area during the six years I lived there was the creation and opening of Marine Studios. It was, I think, the first giant oceanarium in the world, the first place in which gigantic tanks of seawater allowed marine life from sharks to little tropical fish to live together in spacious natural conditions.

From 1937 until 1938 construction proceeded eighteen miles south of St. Augustine between the inland waterway and the Atlantic Ocean, and then on June 23, 1938, came the grand opening. Although I vividly remember Marine Studios, I’m not sure that I saw it on that first day even though my parents tried to get us there. My mother rolls her eyes at the thought of the traffic that was on the road. Here is a description from a current Web site:

“Of the twenty thousand people who descended that single day upon the narrow coastal road south of St. Augustine, only the early ones managed to reach the oceanarium. Swarming through the passageways with their cameras, they stood transfixed for hours at every available window space. As they stared and were stared at by giant groupers and by thousands of other specimens, up the road for miles cars stood bumper to bumper unable to move.”

Whether I saw it on that first day or soon after, Marine Studios remains a magical part of my early childhood. There was something almost supernatural about standing at a glass window far below the surface of ocean water and looking eye-to-eye with a shark or a huge jewfish just inches away, while brilliantly colored reef-dwellers, octopi, and eels were seen in and around the wreckage of a sunken ship down in the middle of the tank. At intervals a deep sea diver in a ponderous helmet, linked to the surface by a hose, would descend and walk the sandy bottom dispensing chopped fish from a basket. He would be at times completely hidden by the swarms of feeders that swirled around him. But the liveliest place of all was the tank where the porpoises were fed, their sleek shiny bodies breaking the surface to fly high in the air to snatch a fish from a human hand. Now that there are many oceanariums, and more performing porpoises than performing dogs, Marine Studios may seem unimpressive, but from our perspective in the 1930's, it was a wonder of the world.

Other memories of St. Augustine are simply nostalgic. Like catching crabs behind our rented house on St. George Street, whose back yard ran down to Maria Sanchez Lake -- a shallow salt tidal lake retained by a low dam at one end and a ground-level wall all around. We would tie chicken necks on a piece of string, lower them into the water, and later pull the crabs up to the air and sunlight when they had fastened their claws onto the meat. Once the tides were so inflated by the passage of a hurricane that the water came up into our back yard onto our little screened porch behind the kitchen, and standing on the porch barefooted we could see fish swimming among the submerged grass blades of our lawn just outside the door, darting fish suspended a few inches above the green grass where the day before we had run in dusty shoes.

Next door to that house on St. George Street lived Mrs. Meginnis, who cured sauerkraut in big jars under her house. You could smell the sauerkraut when the breeze was right. Like many Florida frame houses, the Meginnis home rested on high foundation columns which created an accessible area beneath the floor enclosed by latticework -- an excellent place for children like me to crawl in and hide and inspect doodle bug funnels in the fine sand and risk, as our mothers constantly warned, being bitten by spiders, snakes, and scorpions. Once there was a big stir when a neighborhood boy disappeared, and after hours of searching he was found lollygagging behind the latticework right under his frantic parents' feet.

In the back yard between Mrs. Meginnis's house and Maria Sanchez Lake was a little cottage where a dark-haired lady artist and her small daughter came from the North to spend the winters. I hardly remember the daughter, but the Yankee artist made a great impression. She was much more abrupt than the other females I had encountered, and she talked with a strange hurried accent, but she let me look closely at her brightly colored palette and her squashed, smeared tubes of oil paint, like so many toothpaste tubes in a long box. I loved to smell the paint and turpentine as she brushed swathes of color onto a canvas. Once, after asking Mother's permission, she set up her easel in our backyard and painted a picture of our clothesline with our clothes hanging on it. Mother always said she hoped the artist would give us that painting, but she didn't.

There were also things I don't remember, but which I seem to remember because of hearing about them so often, or seeing pictures of them: My father and his brother, Landis, going fishing and filling the whole sidewalk from our front door to the street when they laid out their catch. My parents taking me, as a baby, fishing with them on Pelicier Creek, where they let me grip the rod and reel; at other times I stayed on the river bank in the shade with Irene while Mother and Daddy went fishing. Daddy told how, when he and Mother first moved to St. Augustine, never having lived by the ocean before, he bought a rowboat and a kicker (which is what we called an outboard motor), and left the boat tied to the downtown pier, where he came back hours later and found it dangling in the air because the tide had gone out.

Irene was my constant companion. One of my favorite walks with her was to the railroad station, which was only a few blocks from one of the succession of houses we lived in. (I have no idea why we moved so often, but it may have expressed some restless characteristic of my parents, who in other aspects of their lives seemed as fixed as oak trees; later in life, when they owned their own home and their children had left, they went on moving from house to house every few years, even designing two homes themselves.) As I recall, the little railway station was Spanish-looking, like most public buildings in St. Augustine, with a red tiled roof. We would just sit around or stroll, and sometimes I was given a penny to put on the track when the train was heard approaching. Squatting and peering excitedly under the monster as it roared and rattled by, I would go and retrieve the smoothly flattened copper from the hot gray gravel between the railroad ties.

I loved to walk on the rails, pretending to be a circus tightrope walker, and to feel the vibrations in the steel ahead of an arriving train. I'm not sure when "streamliners" (which were heavily represented in my scrapbooks) became universal, but at that time there were still engines which burned coal and discharged satisfying billows of smoke from stacks and loud bursts of steam from their sides. I particularly liked to watch the trains go through the stately ritual of preparing to move after letting off and taking on passengers and baggage. First, the conductor called, "All aboard!", and picked up his mounting stool from the hot cement and casually hopped with it onto the metal steps of the train. He would push the stool into the mysterious sanctum behind him and casually, holding a bright steel vertical bar with one hand, swing out to look to the rear along the side of the train and then to the front. His arm would signal, and my breath became barricaded in my throat as I waited for the first hiss, the first barely perceptible silent movement of a burnished wheel-- a movement that would sometimes end, accompanied by a soft bumps and creaks, after only a fraction of a rotation, and the suspense would begin again. But eventually the wheels would begin soundlessly to rotate, and after a few creeping turns would begin to move faster. There would be faint sighs and creaks, then vibrations, then jingles, rattles and bumps as speed gradually increased, until finally the details of the sides of the wheels would be lost in their spinning, and an accelerating rhythm of clanks and bumps would smooth all the natural sounds of train into a single continuum which, by the time the caboose sped by and diminished into the distance, had reached the same reckless roar that had come to my ears before the train had entered the depot and squealed to a halt.

In our small but famous coastal town, those tracks stretching off to north and south, and the trains which traveled them, were by far our most prominent links with the greater world – a world of which I had very little conception at the age of four or five, but whose existence I could sense from the boxes and suitcases that were moved on and off the trains, and from the smells which came from the open doors when the train was stopped, from the faces peering down at me from the windows of the passenger cars, and from the proud superiority of the conductor, who had been far from me that morning and would be far from me that night.

On one special winter day word spread down our palm-fringed street – who knows how – that a train was about to arrive which had snow on it. We ran over to the station and watched the southbound train pull in, its rooftops glistening with a melting white crust which, when the train had stopped, dripped like rain onto the gravel below. Magical. Snow, which we knew only in picture books, really did exist, and we could catch in our hands the icy water which had fallen from the sky in delicate flakes. It would be fifteen years before I saw snow again.

Second to my birth, the major event of my St. Augustine years was the coming of kindergarten. In the first event I was thrust from the warm perfect universe of the womb into a noisy world of bright hospital lights and unfriendly cold air, and with the second event I was thrust from the warm dependency of home, Mother, and Irene, into Mrs. Joyce's kindergarten. If I had comprehended that this was just the beginning of a seemingly interminable sentence of confinement in classrooms I would have felt much worse than I did, but as it was I ample grief for the occasion.
Mrs. Joyce's house was only a few blocks from ours, but at the time it seemed the other end of the world. The day my mother first drove me there I was in a tearful panic. She parked in front of the place, which looked like any other home on the street except for an extensive glassed-in porch on the side, and tried, as always, to show me the brighter side of things. She pointed to the big windows.

"Look at that boy. See how much fun he's having?"

The fact that this other child was sitting at a table looking out a window without actually squalling did not in the least reduce my anxiety. I was being cut loose into the unknown, and would be separated, possibly forever, from everything I cherished. But I was not given a choice. I was taken up to the front door and deposited with Mrs. Joyce, a very nice, slender lady who wore her graying hair in a bun. I don't remember what happened next, except that I stopped crying and merely quavered after taking my place at a painted table with crayons and paper in front of me.

The boy Mother had pointed out through the window was John Randolph Frazer, whose father had made a lot of money inventing the proximity fuse or something, and who was mayor for awhile. John Randolph became my first and best friend during that time, and there were fabulous birthday parties at his house, with pony rides and once even a merry-go-round. At Mrs. Joyce's I also met Christine Smith, my first girlfriend as our mothers jokingly put it, who fell through the bleachers at the circus.

I really enjoyed Mrs. Joyce's kindergarten soon after the first day or so. We children sat on little painted wooden chairs at little painted wooden tables and covered paper with crayon pictures, learned the use of blunt-nosed scissors and thick white paste, and gradually mastered the alphabet, the days of the week, the names and order of the months. Before long we could even print our names.


The four seasons played a prominent role in our activities. We cut paper leaves, colored them with autumn hues, and hung them on strings to festoon our rooms. We drew or otherwise fashioned apples, pumpkins, arch-backed black cats, witches, Christmas trees, Santa Clauses, American flags, George Washington (but not Abraham Lincoln), Valentine hearts, and Easter bunnies. It was first discovered that I was red-green colorblind when I crayoned the green-labeled balloon the wrong color and made my apple green and my pumpkin orange. But I got high marks for scissors work.
We also played games, of course, and took part in skits. My first dramatic role was as Jack, who was nimble and quick and jumped successfully over his candle stick. Musical chairs must have been our favorite activity, because it stands out happily in my memory above ring-around-the-rosy and everything else we did. Mrs. Joyce would play the piano, and each time she stopped there would be a mad scramble with boys, girls, and little chairs falling all over the place. And then we would lie down on our pallets and take naps, for which we would be rewarded with graham crackers and milk. What could be better? No wonder I resented much that came in the future.

Only two other things come to mind from Mrs. Joyce's. One is the Japanese plum tree beside her back steps, where we would pick the fuzzy-skinned loquats, chew the sweetness from the flesh, and suck the slippery black seeds..

The other memory is of one afternoon when my mother did not come to pick me up on time, and Mrs. Joyce took me into the kitchen with her while she made cookies for the next day. She let me scoop some sweet, gingery raw cookie dough onto one finger to taste, but told me it would make me drunk if I had more. I did not know what “drunk” was, but even after I found out I've always wondered how cookie dough could have that effect.


My biggest ambition during that period was to get to be seven years old so that I would be grown up and sophisticated like the seven-year-old boy down the block -- who, by virtue of his maturity and parents’ relative prosperity in this Depression time, had an Erector Set, whereas I had Tinker Toys. My second big ambition was to join the children who passed my front yard every day going to and from school -- real school, not kindergarten. I would stand at the gate of our home and watch them walking by in their sweaters, carrying their lunch boxes, and I was so impressed by the sophisticates who walked backwards down the sidewalk without even looking over their shoulders that I could hardly stand to wait any longer to join them.

Meanwhile two very significant events had occurred. First, my brother Riley was born in the summer of 1937, but I don't remember the event. I only realize, in retrospect, that my era as an only child, the unchallenged darling of the house, had ended with a jolt. Then, one morning when Riley was two years old and I was almost six, we were up much earlier than usual one morning. It was still dark outside. I thought somebody was sick. By then I knew about colds and flu.

Standing on the stairs, I asked, “What’s wrong? Where’s Mother?”

"She’s gone to the hospital to have a baby," my father said.

"Another one?" I asked incredulously.

When we were in the hospital lobby on the day my mother was ready to come home, she was carrying the new baby, Gordon, while my father paid the bill, and I asked her where babies came from.

"Go ask that doctor and he'll tell you," my mother said, but I was very shy from the beginning and not about to cross the lobby and accost the big man in the long white coat.

Speaking of doctors, when I was five years old I underwent surgery to remove my tonsils. I certainly hope it was necessary because the experience gave me a permanent phobia about anesthetics. All that I recall is being wheeled away from my mother into an operating room where overhead lights blazed into my eyes, and where a nurse spoke reassuring words as someone put over my nose and mouth a kitchen sieve lined with a cloth soaked with some blinding, suffocating liquid. The ether put out the light, and I can remember only the moment just before that, and then lying in a hospital bed with a sore throat drinking apricot juice. The nurses joked with my parents that I had completely used up Flagler Hospital’s supply of apricot juice.

Finally the time came when I could glimpse on the horizon that long-anticipated September when I would be starting First Grade -- real school! In late summer we drove up to Jacksonville to buy my school clothes, but when my parents took me to the school to register they learned, incredulous, that because I’d been born in December I could not begin school until the next September. Returning to Mrs. Joyce’s kindergarten was definitely an anticlimax.

That winter and the following year dissolve into memories of Irene and her pies (no longer just for me), Irene dragging me out onto the back porch and calling to the children there, “You all want to see a BAD boy?”, and more seasonal creations at kindergarten.

I just don’t remember starting First Grade, and I don’t remember much about those first months in school except some speculation on the playground that Jack Armstrong, the All American Boy (a radio character), must have strong arms. I also recall sitting around long tables with other children drinking milk and at one point wetting my pants because the teacher just wouldn’t believe I really had to go.

Maybe the reason I remember so little about First Grade in St. Augustine is that when I was about halfway through it there was a revolutionary change: My father was to become the County Agent in Alachua County, and we would be moving those seventy miles or so to Gainesville in the spring.

Copyright 2005 Fleming Lee


  1. Wow, Fleming, what an auspicious start! I'm referring not to your birth itself and subsequent early days, but the description of it. An editor would have a few things to suggest of course: like mention the cardboard in the shoes only once, and comment on the coincidence of Blitch the surname and Blitch the town, and the implication that your first memory was a sound happening outside your window at the moment you were born - something also worthy of brief comment.

    For now though I must resist the temptation of reading it all through, having awoken at 3am to do some writing of my own!

    Wonderful stuff though & I will return soon.

  2. Vincent, it's an honor to receive your enthusiastic comment. I also appreciate the editorial suggestions. I was surprised at the number of bits that needed changing as I prepared the chapter for posting.

    Thank you!

  3. Vincent, I explain the coincidence of "Blitch" in town and family in a later chapter. My father's father -- a country doctor -- was responsible for the growth of a rural dirt road crossroads near his "home place" into a little community with the name "Blitchton" which still appears on the Florida state maps and is embodied in road names.

  4. Gee, only half way through, will be back. Ditto Vincent's first couple of sentences. And I too was wondering about the Blitch connection. The photo of you with cake and car in background. Wow another world eh? Still full of charmed, innocent wonder Fleming. Well done.

  5. Link, that you so much for reading this long first chapter and for encouraging me in your inimitable way. These memoirs have languished for several years on my hard drive because I thought that almost nobody would find them intresting enough to read, much less publish.

    My working title was, WHAT IT WAS LIKE WHEN I WAS HERE (not very graceful or catchy), reflecting my hope that somebody in the future (maybe myself in a later incarnation) would find them of historical interest.

    I can't tell you how happy it makes me that people whose minds and writing I respect most are actually reading and enjoying the memoirs. I hope that you and Vincent and other dear readers will feel free to give me your opinions of how I'm handling the memoirs. I've written about 6 chapters, leaving myself suspended in the throes of early adolescence, and I have to decide whether -- and from what approach -- to continue.

    Thank you, Link.

  6. Don't listen to dem guys Fleming . . . it has a nice flow to it. I haven't finished your first installment but it holds the readers interest especially if the reader was also born in Florida. It's very good. I was born December 27th, 1947 in the panhandle. No depression but the lady who raised me was German and I will never forget her either.

  7. As it happens, my first lengthy trip as a youngster was down to Disneyland, by car. We stopped in St. Augustine, and I remember the Fort, the Alligator farm, and, I think, the same aquarium. Certainly it was an impressive dolphin show. Your story brought it all back for me, minus the maids in uniform.

    I remember how incongruous and ancient the Fort looked to my if Spaniard crusaders had built it!

    As with almost all your writing, Fleming, it is precise, spare, and evocative. It took met three sittings to read it, because it's on a computer screen, so breaking it up into 3 sub-chapters might be helpful. That's a nit-pick. More detail in parts, for example knowing more about your maid, would be very nice.

  8. Marc, I delighted that you're among the memoir readers. The fort is impressive, isn't it, especially to a child? Construction of the Castillo de San Marcos began in 1672. St. Augustine was founded in 1565. Not quite the Crusades, but pretty far back.

    I think you're right about dividing the chapter(s). I will probably do that with the future chapters. Thanks.