Well, I may be giving up blogging and going on a world cruise because of wonderful news I received today. Good old Mary Crowder! I thought she'd forgotten me (I had definitely forgotten her) in spite of all my "past effort by trying to help" her and my "great effort to our unfinished transfer of fund into your account due to one reason or the other best known to you."
Now I'll be collecting that certified "bank cheque cash able" at my bank and heading to a travel agent. Please see the email below.
It amazes me that although there have been Crowders spread all over the American South for a couple of centuries (there is even a pea named after them) Mary never has learned to write English. When she writes, "I didn't forgot you" her old English teacher must spin in her grave. Also, Mary's the only Mary Crowder I've heard of (http://www.crowder.org/) who doesn't have a double name like Mary Lynn, Mary Beth, Mary Lou, or Mary Ann. The Crowders never could stop with one first name.
WHAT??? You say you received the same email? And YOU? The SAME email? How can that be? Has Mary gone nuts, or is she just extremely generous?
Why, you ask, am I posting this email even though most of my five readers have also received it? Just because I love these things as entertainment. A few weeks ago I heard from the deposed Nigerian prime minister, who addressed me as "My dear", and I read his email five times. I never could decide whether to send his solicitor that US$1000 which was needed to get the $800,000 into my account, and now I'm glad I didn't because Mary's gift has no strings attached.
>Subject: COMPENSATION FOR YOUR PAST EFFORT.
> Dear Friend,
>
> How are you today, hope all is well with you and your family? I hope this mail
meets you in a perfect condition. I didn't forgot your past effort by trying to
help me, now i want to tell you that i have succeeded in getting those funds
transferred under the cooperation of a new partner from Paraguay.
>
> I want to use this opportunity to thank you for your great effort to our
unfinished transfer of fund into your account due to one reason or the other
best known to you. But I want to inform you that I have successfully transferred
the fund out of my bank to someone else account who was capable of assisting me
in this great venture through the help of the diplomat i told you about. Due to
your effort, sincerity,courage and trustworthiness, you showed at the course of
the transaction I want to compensate you and show my gratitude to you with the
sum of $750,000USD.
>
> I have authorized my new lawyer who is now also my legal adviser to issue you
international certified bank cheque cash able at your bank.My dear friend I will
like you to contact the lawyer for the collection of this international
certified bank cheque.
HENRY & CO. LAW CHAMBERS
> CONTACT PERSON : BARRISTER HENRY OBI
> TELEPHONE: +234-805-341-6375
> Email: barr.henry-obi@lawyer.com
> Thanks and God bless you and your family.
>
> Hope to hear from you soon.
>
> Your Sincerely,
>
> Mary Crowder
My blog friends, I'm including the lawyer information because I trust you not to try to grab my money for yourselves.
Fleming
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Fleming, you may just be SOL on this one. You see, Crowder is a family surname of ours, on both sides as a matter of fact and record and I am quite certain, without any doubt, that Mary wrote to you in error and that email was meant for ME. But then again, giving more thought to this you are absolutely right: the kissin' cuzins were Mary Margaret, Mary Lee, Mary Clementine, Mary Jo and Mary Elizabeth... none were ever just plain old ordinary Mary!
ReplyDeleteNow, whereas my "first comment" on this post was mere fun-poking, this comment is serious and true!
ReplyDeleteMy Mom and her two sisters were named Mary Helen, Mary Yvonne and Mary Lou. Grandma's thinking (other than being a churchgoing lady of great goodness) was that all she'd have to do was call out,
"MARY" and all the girls would come running!
My Mind's Eye, you are a tricky one, but it's MY email and I'm keeping it . . . AND all the money Mary can hardly wait to send me. You claim to be Mary Crowder's dear relative, but don't expect canny Fleming to fall for Internet scams and frauds.
ReplyDeleteI like that story about the reason for all the Marys in your mother's family. My mother should have tried that with me and my two brothers. When she wanted to call one of us she often ran through two of our names before getting to the one she wanted.
That's odd, I know Mary. I worked with her for years. And I can say without question you, my friend, are no Mary Crowder. Enjoy the loot.
ReplyDeleteIt is a small world, Fleming. I received the same one too, here on the edge of Malaysia. Does this mean we are related in our previous lives? :-)
ReplyDeleteEsteemed Wombat, here we are on widely separated tectonic plates receiving the exact same email from Mary Crowder! Incredible.
ReplyDeleteNot only are we probably related in past lives, but we may even be the same person. (See "Strange Questions from a Strange Mind".)
By the way, I found this statistic about the Nigerian email frauds: 'Estimates put the losses from these "Nigerian Advance Fee" operations at over $1 million "every single day" in the U.S. alone.' No wonder democracy doesn't work in the U.S.; it requires a functioning brain.
Oops! Maybe I shouldn't have said that, Wombat, until I asked if you've accepted Mary's offer. No offense intended.